2 months.

It’s hard to believe I said goodbye to you 2 months ago. Some days it feels much longer ago than that, other days it feels as if it were just yesterday. Today I find myself feeling very somber, very sad. I miss you so much. I look down and miss my swelling tummy, I miss your kicks, I miss Dr. appointments and listening for your heartbeat. I wish so badly that you were still safely tucked inside me, growing, kicking, living. I want nothing more than to show you how much I love you, to hold you tight and kiss your face, to rock you to sleep and witness your first smiles. I’d give anything for you to be able to hear just once that I love you, oh how I love you. I wonder if this pain will ever leave, will it ever dull? I think about trying for another baby but the truth is, I don’t want another baby, I want you. You were perfect for me, all I ever wanted, all I ever needed. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, not an hour goes by that my heart doesn’t bleed for you. I miss you sweet boy so very very much.