It’s a little over 2 weeks until my next OB appointment. The one where we’ll talk about what next, what steps we will or can take to get pregnant again. I’m petrified. My hubby wants to try again as soon as we can, I wonder if we need more time? I don’t want to spend my pregnancy, if I’m so lucky to get pregnant again, worried and scarred and freaked out. I want to be able to enjoy it and not worry and continue to work-out and be as normal as possible (which lets face it, normal is not really me to begin with!). I want a guarantee that this won’t happen again, and I know it’s impossible to get that. I wish I had more concrete answers as to what went wrong with our baby boy, I wish we knew for sure, 100% for sure that it was just some rare genetic fluke, I wish we were 100% sure that it wouldn’t happen, couldn’t happen again. I still feel guilty, I’ve been told about a billion times that it’s not my fault, I’ve told myself that hundreds of times and yet everyday I wake up feeling guilty, feeling like my body failed, I did something wrong, like it will happen again…
When do you try again or is the real question, DO you try again??
Children: On death and dying
9 years ago
2 comments:
I don't know how I came across your blog, but I miscarried our first baby 5 weeks ago and reading your blog felt like somebody was writing down all my thoughts. Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your writing and your honesty.
I wish I knew the answer. i'm still unsure if we'll ever try again.. after 2 losses and Robbie's very, very early arrival.. I don't know.
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