Tuesday, July 7, 2009

And just like that…

This cycle is over. AF showed yesterday, CD25 3 days after my positive OPK. What the hell??

I go from ridiculously LONG cycles, to the shortest one of my life. I’m over it, I’m over being stressed out and testing my urine 5 bazillion times a day, I’m over scheduling sex, and taking hormones, I’m over obsessing about every twinge, pain, funny feeling, analyzing, reading, researching. I’m over all of it.

We’ve been blessed to have one child already, he’s beautiful and funny and the light of my life, and maybe that’s all I’m supposed to have, maybe he’s supposed to be an only child, and you know what – that’s ok, it’s just fine, it’s good, and I’m lucky, lucky to have him.

So for now, I’m setting aside the charts, the drugs, the pee sticks. We’ll enjoy our life and if it happens it happens. I’ll be 30 in March, I’m giving myself until then, if we don’t conceive naturally by then, I’ll probably go get an IUD or some type of BC. My hubby will be 42 in November and really we don’t want to end up pregnant when I’m 40 and he’s looking at an early retirement, he doesn’t want to be 53 and starting over with new baby, looking at 60 when that child went to school, so for now I’m handing over all the control, if it happens fantastic, if not that’s ok to.

and I’m sad.

1 comment:

Trish said...

AF is an evil bitch.
I'm so sorry. :(