Well, here we are at CD23, I’ve peed on about 127 OPK’s and they’ve all come up a blaring NEG. Surprised?? Not so much. I kind of knew this would happen; the part that sucks the worst is that I have to do it all over again next cycle. My Dr. wants two full cycles of Prometrium (devil drug) and checking for ovulation before moving on to Clomid. Which hey by the way, I’ve never gone down the Clomid path before, so if you’re reading and you have, by all means feel free to share your experiences. I mean, I’ve googled until my brain hurts, but it’s just different hearing real life experiences. Ya know??
The 22nd marked 4 months since we lost our angel. He’s now been officially gone longer than he was with me. Wow, that really sucked to type. I think overall I’m doing ok, but there are still days or moments where I feel just so heartbreakingly sad. I pulled his urn out today for the first time in quite awhile, usually I just hold the box that it’s in, not quite able to hold the actual urn, it always feels so cold. Today though, I was able to hold it for awhile, it’s always shocking to me just how tiny it is. When we originally decided to have him cremated we had thoughts of scattering his ashes, not realizing that there really wouldn’t be ashes left, I was shocked the first time we opened the urn, inside is a small plastic bag that has the metal tag for cremation and the smallest amount of ashes you can imagine, which I know logically makes sense, I mean he was so teeny tiny, but it’s still pretty much like getting punched in the gut to see just the few little ashes that are left.
I had thought that I would want to be pregnant again before my due date, and I know now that it’s not going to happen and I’m ok with that. I can’t even begin to imagine how I’m going to feel on that day, I don’t think that there is word for the feeling yet, at least not one I can imagine. Well, I have 5 days of Prometrium left this cycle and then hopefully (knock on wood) AF will show within 4 days after that and I can get on with testing for the elusive line of a positive OPK.
Children: On death and dying
9 years ago
1 comment:
All 3 of my pregnancies were Clomid pregnancies. (I think I ended up with 7 rounds of Clomid?)
I took it CD3-7. By CD5, I was having hot flashes, usually just at night.
As it got closer to time to O, my ovaries hurt pretty darned bad. Some months more than others. There were months when it hurt to go over bumps in the car, and months that felt like mild cramps. It really just depended.
I responded really well to a low dose (50mg) and obviously it worked, so I have no complaints, really.
If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email.
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